Heath snapped these pictures of the kids and me yesterday. This shot melts my heart, and I will love it always. We look like we never speak cross words toward each other, don't we. We look like we've got it all together. Funny, considering the day before this "perfect" family photo was taken, I was lying in the grass by myself, having a near nervous breakdown. It's true. I lost it. Lost my cool on Enid. Freaked her out, I'm sure. I acted pretty much like a raged animal. Then I walked outside and lay in the grass, calling out to God (the only one who could possibly have loved me at that moment), saying things like, "I don't want to go back in there!" It's true. Really happened.
I share this about myself not because I'm proud of it, but because I'm not stupid enough to believe I'm the only one that experiences these things. Because I hate fraud. Because it's time we quit trying to make each other think we are perfect.
Behind almost every great picture are several pretty awful ones. It's the same with life, is it not? We put on a picture-perfect show when we leave the house, being sure not to expose what wretches we can actually be, while home, and life in general, is often a mess of outtakes.
Having said all that, I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, always boo-hooing about stuff like laundry, but I think less of us would boo-hoo about laundry if we knew that everybody else leaves a load in the wash to sour from time to time. We're all doing the best we can. And ain't none of us got it figured out yet.
So, lesson 1: You aren't a failure for being imperfect. And while you don't want to be a Debbie Downer always griping about life (guilty), it's okay, and reassuring even, to talk about the real stuff sometimes.
And lesson 2: When trying to get a good picture, take several.