I often have friends approach me wanting to know what four kids is like and if they should venture into the three or more territory. It is a decision not to take lightly. What folks don't realize is, Heath and I did not PLAN any one of our children. And, please, spare me the "Don't you know what causes that?" bit. Yes, I know, and, yes, we tried prevention, but we are apparently procreation machines or something. I have ovaries that love making babies.
Anyway, I share all of that (probably unwanted) information so you will understand that having four kids is not something we ever anticipated or planned for. Being type A and putting a plan in place before starting a family might make having four kids an easier feat. I just can't say for sure because I am not type A, and we just roll with the punches, as Young MC would say. And, speaking of punches, have you ever needed a good punch in the gut to get you out of your selfish tendencies? I have and DO. Kids are great for that, reminding you the world does not revolve around you and your desires.
So what is it like, really? Should you do it?
Much of the time this is how Heath and I conduct our relationship, back to back, hands and minds going in different directions, but hearts in the same place, working toward the same goal. But it's hard not having face time with each other, and that is a very real part of having four kids.
What cannot be ignored, though, is the love. What I enjoy most about having four kids is seeing them form relationships with one another. I can't express how rewarding this is. Do they fight? Uh, duh. And I know things will look different as they get older and go through the teen years, but right now they love each other. I can tell. As much as they'd like to say otherwise, they love each other. And sometimes I can see the future. I can see them hanging out as older kids and that makes me CRAZY HAPPY.
So should you do it? Should you have more kids? Man...I don't know. I can't even imagine planning that out. And, truth be told, I probably wouldn't have planned it. I'm not sure I would have been that unselfish without having to be. It's a tough decision. There is a lot of risk. They will definitely feel pain, heartache, and, let's get real, they will die. They are little souls that will have free will to choose good or bad. They might grow up and hate you. All of this is very real, and not to be taken lightly. But...they could change the world...
*Thanks to Cassie for all these special pictures, and we are doing another fun shoot today or tomorrow, depending on the weather. Stay tuned for that.