Thursday, February 20, 2014

FOUR CHILDREN, WHAT IT'S REALLY LIKE.

I often have friends approach me wanting to know what four kids is like and if they should venture into the three or more territory.  It is a decision not to take lightly.  What folks don't realize is, Heath and I did not PLAN any one of our children.  And, please, spare me the "Don't you know what causes that?" bit.  Yes, I know, and, yes, we tried prevention, but we are apparently procreation machines or something.  I have ovaries that love making babies.  

Anyway, I share all of that (probably unwanted) information so you will understand that having four kids is not something we ever anticipated or planned for.  Being type A and putting a plan in place before starting a family might make having four kids an easier feat.  I just can't say for sure because I am not type A, and we just roll with the punches, as Young MC would say.   And, speaking of punches, have you ever needed a good punch in the gut to get you out of your selfish tendencies?  I have and DO.  Kids are great for that, reminding you the world does not revolve around you and your desires.  

So what is it like, really?  Should you do it?

It is HARD.  Having four people to care for, having four people depending on you for emotional, physical and spiritual development is crazy hard.   There's no beating around the bush.  Every way you cut it, hard, hard, HARD.  Lots of cooking, lots of wiping, lots of money spending, lots of mess, lots of chaos, lots of screaming (if I'm completely honest), LOTS of praying.  Little of self.


Much of the time this is how Heath and I conduct our relationship, back to back, hands and minds going in different directions, but hearts in the same place, working toward the same goal.  But it's hard not having face time with each other, and that is a very real part of having four kids.  

What cannot be ignored, though, is the love.  What I enjoy most about having four kids is seeing them form relationships with one another.  I can't express how rewarding this is.  Do they fight?  Uh, duh.  And I know things will look different as they get older and go through the teen years, but right now they love each other.  I can tell.  As much as they'd like to say otherwise, they love each other.  And sometimes I can see the future.  I can see them hanging out as older kids and that makes me CRAZY HAPPY.  

So should you do it?  Should you have more kids?  Man...I don't know.  I can't even imagine planning that out.  And, truth be told, I probably wouldn't have planned it.  I'm not sure I would have been that unselfish without having to be.  It's a tough decision.  There is a lot of risk.  They will definitely feel pain, heartache, and, let's get real, they will die.  They are little souls that will have free will to choose good or bad.  They might grow up and hate you.  All of this is very real, and not to be taken lightly.  But...they could change the world...

*Thanks to Cassie for all these special pictures, and we are doing another fun shoot today or tomorrow, depending on the weather.  Stay tuned for that.

7 comments:

  1. this is great, hannah. having grown up in a family with three children (all unplanned but happily welcomed) i crave having a big family of my own. i LOVED having siblings and was fortunate to have parents who had time, patience and means to give us a loving, happy upbringing. of course, i have no idea what your home life is like, but from the outside looking in, you seem to be doing wonderfully. being transparent, supportive, lighthearted and real goes a long way. you are a beautiful, talented individual and i'm glad people like y'all are makin' babies. thanks for sharing!

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  2. Well, I can tell ya, it ain't always pretty, but THANK YOU for the encouragement! I am the youngest of three and also love having siblings. I feel like that's part of my mission with these kids, to give them friends in each other, people with whom to go through life. Let's hope it works out!

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  3. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! And the images that go along with it. Watching my girls interact is one of the best things that happens in my day, every day.

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    1. You're a good mom, Mrs. Jerkins. And a good friend ;)

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  4. I can tell you this as one of 5 kids, the early years were good, the middle years I made a "living HELL" for everybody sometimes, but the later years ... my oh my, how I love and appreciate my Siblings! I am so thankful that Mama and Daddy didn't stop until all 5 of us were born ... I am so very thankful for a family that loves to be together and that sticks by each other no matter what ... I hope that is the future for you and your children ... They will adore you forever, that's the truth!

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  5. I can tell you this as one of 5 kids, the early years were good, the middle years I made a "living HELL" for everybody sometimes, but the later years ... my oh my, how I love and appreciate my Siblings! I am so thankful that Mama and Daddy didn't stop until all 5 of us were born ... I am so very thankful for a family that loves to be together and that sticks by each other no matter what ... I hope that is the future for you and your children ... They will adore you forever, that's the truth!
    Your old cousin that you don't know ... Kyle

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